Shots
by Raggs Princess
Summary: Ed truly hated needles. An adventure with needles. A series of one-shots. Rating may change over time.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N. Hey I just thought of this on the fly hope you like it!**

"Al no way in hell!"

"But brother…" Al whines.

"No way IN HELL! AM I GETTING A SHOT!"

"Fullmetal,"

"STAY OUT OF THIS COLONEL BASTARD!" a cock of a gun silences Ed. He turns in horror seeing Hawkeye standing there gun in hand. Ed's eyes widen and he surveys the doctor's office. He spots a window and runs and jumps… out of a two story building getting glass stuck in himself in the process.

"HAHA! YOU WON'T TAKE ME- OOOOOWWWW GODDAMMIT!" Roy, and everyone else in the room look out the broken window.

"Brother! You idiot!" Al rushes out of the room and out of the building. He drags Ed back who is now clutching a broken ankle.

"Now where is the boy?" A doctor comes in and sees Ed stricken with horror and holding his right ankle. "Dammit kid couldn't you make my job easier?" The doctor pulls out a syringe and commands Roy and his team to hold Ed down. Ed struggles against their grips, but the doctor plunges it into his arm.

"GET THE HELL AWAY FROM Mghgehof" Ed's voice is muffled by Havoc's hand slapping over his mouth. The doctor pulls away from him and says, "Now we need to set the ankle. This would have been much easier on all of us especially you if you hadn't had the suicidal thought of jumping out of that goddamn window." Ed, mouth still covered, shot daggers at the doctor with his eyes trying to kill him with a look.

…..

Years later the entire team looked back upon the memory and laughed.


	2. Chapter 2

Ed's leg bounced up and down as he fought to stay calm. _It's just a little shot._ He reasoned with himself. _No need to get worked up._ His breath hitched by a millisecond, and quickened as the door to the office swung open.

Crrrrreeeeeeeeeaaaaaakkkkkkkk. The sound grated against the blonde's eardrums, and he scrunched up his face with discomfort. Al was waiting outside for him, along with Mustang and Lieutenant Hawkeye.

_I don't see why the Bastard has to be here._ Ed complained mentally._ I know there has to be someone, to make sure I don't try anything, but isn't that why Al's here? I mean that bastard doesn't need to be here. I can take care of myself!_ A new voice, that sounded a little like his own, but wasn't rationalized, '_Ed you know that they have to have a guardian's signature, and Mustang is your superior, which makes him responsible for your well-being.' _

_What the- Who are you?!_

'_I am your inner conscience Ed. You don't always let me in, and I keep you from making stupid decisions, like refusing to get your shots'_

_I don't care! Get out of my head! And I hate needles! If you were me you would know that!_

'_Heads up Ed here comes the needle,'_

_Wait wha- _ "OW DAMMIT!" Ed cursed as the needle plunged into his arm. He had been so lost in thought that he didn't even notice the nurse come in.

"Now that wasn't so bad now was it?" The red-haired nurse asked as she withdrew the needle.

"Yes, yes it was," Ed grumbled as the woman wiped the crook of his elbow clean, and placed a bandage over where the needle stuck him. The woman giggled, and led him out to the waiting room, where Ed promptly stalked away from the rest of the group seemingly having an argument with himself.

"How was he?" The Colonel asked eyeing the short alchemist.

"He was in his own little world-"

"I'M NOT SHORT DAMMIT!"

"The entire time," The nurse laughed as she asked for Roy's signature on the receipt. He promptly scrawled his paperwork signature, at which Riza glowered at, and handed the slip of paper back to the woman. Ed's shoulders hunched over as the group walked out.

"So brother what was that lady talking about?" Al asked innocently enough.

"It was nothing Al, just another doctor being stupid," Ed grumbled as they piled into Mustang's car for the drive back to Central Headquarters.

"She was laughing pretty hard Fullmetal what did you do back there?" Roy asked as he pulled out into traffic.

"I TOLD YOU IT WAS NOTHING!" ED screamed, startling Mustang, who was driving, into stepping on the gas, and almost rear-ending the car in front of them.

A chorus of "SIR! /COLONEL!" came from Riza and Alphonse as the Colonel slammed on the brakes, narrowly missing the car's rear bumper.

"Fullmetal, never yell at the driver when the car's in motion,"

"Yeah, yeah whatever,"

"I'm serious Fullmetal, I can and I will turn this car around so I can make them give you another shot," Roy threatened staring at the blonde through the rear-view mirror. At that threat Ed clammed right up, and he was silent the rest of the way to Headquarters.

Moral of the story: You want Ed to shut up, threaten to give him a shot.


	3. Chapter 3

"Al remind me why I am here again?"

"Brother it is a blood drive, and it's mandatory, there are a lot of people who need the blood for surgeries and-"

"Alright! Alright I get it! I give up!" Ed faced the gym floor. There were literally lines outside the door full of operatives willing to give their blood, and have a….needle…stuck in their arm. Ed gave an involuntary shiver as Al walked him to a chair.

"Alright sir what is your name?" A male nurse asked, and knowing Edward the first thing out of his mouth is, "Aren't nurses supposed to be girls?" Al sweatdropped and facepalmed, while the nurse grumbled something not-so-nice, and stalked away.

"Brother! You didn't have to be rude!"

"That wasn't being rude! It was a legitimate question!" Ed defended. 'If I had eyes I would roll them,' Al thought. Al decided it would be best to let his brother go for now, and thankfully neither of them had to wait too long for a nurse to appear in place of the other one.

"Hello Mr. Elric," The nurse's tone of voice was clipped and short.

"Hello,"

"Please extend your arm, we are going to extract a pint of blood,"

"Whoah, whoah, whoah. No one told me about a pint of blood being taken out of me,"

"Sir it is protocol, now if you would just extend your arm, this will be over in a few minutes," The nurse says dryly. Ed sticks out his arm warily, and the nurse swiftly injects the needle into his bloodstream. Ed cringes, and looks away, but the hurried motion, sent his head reeling. 'That was strange that's never happened before,' Ed looks back at the nurse, and sees the bag of blood, no _his_ blood, and he felt queasy. The needle hurt like heck, but he wasn't going to complain, because he is The Hero of the People, and heroes don't complain. The bag was slowly filling up, and the nurse checked on its progress every few seconds. After about a minute Ed finally decided to speak up.

"Hey, I'm getting really dizzy, can we stop?"

"Sorry sir if we stop now, then we'll have to throw the bag away, can you hold out a little longer?"

"Yeah,"

"Good almost done just another minute or so," Another minute or so later the woman directed Ed to the juice and donut bar, so he could replenish his blood. Ed staggered up out of the seat, and stumbled to the counter.

"Fullmetal? That you?"

"Yeah it's me,"

"NO offense, but you look like crap. How much did they take out of you?"

"A pint." Ed sways on the spot, and his superior's hand reaches out and steadies him.

"Easy kid, let's get you to a cot," Mustang leads Edward over to bed, and makes him lay down.

"I'm fine," Ed argues as he tries feebly to sit up, only to be pressed gently back by Roy.

"No you aren't if they only took a pint out of you, and you look this bad, I'd say you aren't fine," Ed lifts his head up, and finds Al next to him.

"Can we get a separate room?"

"Sorry brother I spoke to a nurse they won't let you leave until you can sit up and keep something down."

"Just get me something," Al nodded hurriedly and rushed off. Ed tries to sit up, but the room starts to go white, and Roy realizes what's happening, and lays Ed back down.

"Easy," Roy tries to soothe, "Don't overexert yourse-"

"DON'T PATRONIZE ME!" Ed yells as he shoots up, but dizziness makes his vision swim. White dances across his vision, and he falls back onto the cot.

TIMESKIPTIMESKIPTIMESKIPTIMESKIPTIMESKIPTIMESKIPTIMESKIPTIMESKIPTIMESKIPTIMESKIPTIMESKIP!

"Fullmetal?"

"Brother!"

"Please sir move," Voices swirl around Ed, and he can't latch on to more than one voice.

"What's wrong with the short kid?" Ed's eyes fly open, and he looks wildly around him screaming: "I'M NOT SHORT DAMMIT! YOU PEOPLE ARE FREAKISHLY TALL! PLUS I'VE GROWN ALMOST A FREAKING FOOT!" A cold automail hand flies up and presses itself to a certain blonde's forehead.

"Brother would this help?" A hamburger is placed in the alchemist's hands, and like a starving wolf the hamburger is eaten in half a second. This process however sends yet another wave a dizziness and white across Ed's vision, and he leans back against the temporary bed.

"How long was I out?" Ed moans.

"Not more than an hour Fullmetal," A crisp voice answers. Ed turns to see Mustang next to his cot.

"You're still here?"

"You are my responsibility after all,"

"Ahhh, that explains it,"

The process of Ed trying to get up and passing out became a trend for about four hours, and all the while officers of the military were either: a) laughing like no tomorrow, b) worrying about Ed, or c) doing what the Colonel is thinking about and taking pictures to use as blackmail. Ed makes a mental note to remember the faces of those people, so he can have Hughes track them down.

TIME SKIP~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ed stumbles into the dorm being supported by Al and the Colonel.

"Urgh, I can't see," Ed complains.

"No more blood drives for you Fullmetal. Although I have a question: If you can fight and loose twice as much blood as you did today, why is this affecting you so much?"

"Needles, you know Ed hates them Colonel,"

"True Alphonse, very true," The Colonel muses as the pair throw Ed in a heap on his bed. Earning another weak moan.

"Brother…." Al sighs exasperated. "You really need to pull it together," Although Ed can't hear his younger brother's plea, because sleep overtook him.

A hand places itself on the small boy's shoulder. "I spoke with the nurse, and he said that he'll be like this for about two days, just give him time for the shock to his body wear down,"

"Alright Colonel. And…..Thank you for helping my get him home," Al looks into the eyes of the older man.

The raven chuckled and ruffled the boy's hair, "Anytime kid, anytime," Roy walks out without another word. He continues down the street and finally goes back to the gym. He turns a corner, and bellows, "Attention! Who got pictures of Fullmetal on the floor?"

Laughter rings out across the floor, and people hold up pictures over their heads. The man at the entrance smirks, and pulls on his famous fire making gloves.

SNAP!

"WHAT THE HELL?!"

"AW COME ON! THAT KID OWES ME!"

"ROY! YOU DESTROYED MY PICTURES OF ELYSIA!" Roy turned and hightailed it all the way to Central Command and hid behind his desk flaming anything that showed up holding a picture.

A/N. Funny? No? Bad? Decent?


End file.
